i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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