I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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