Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
