id be glad to
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
