Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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