"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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