now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We have so much sex to catch up on
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
