Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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