I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
