Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
