I can text with my tongue
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
