Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just invented taco cereal.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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