$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize
