We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
organizing the empties. That sober.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
