There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
