i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
