Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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