She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
