i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
