Tell her she can't have a vagina
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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