im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
