you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
