Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my being single is dangerous.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
