just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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