last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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