I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
