God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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