wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
