D3 body, D1 cock
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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