So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
