I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
