We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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