i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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