I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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