Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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