Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
