I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
