I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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