All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
