She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
