At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
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