Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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