Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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