So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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