Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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