wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sorry about my life...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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