What did we do last night that was yellow?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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