Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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