chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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