I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
