I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I want a musical about memes.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
